It had been a month since I updated my journal .... Feels like forever, but again, I come to pour my uncertainity and new decision .
In the past month, a lot a
Has changed, I have changed, my decisions changed... But again , I'm continuously changing, that it became usual.
A new descisions has been made in my life. It was that day I skipped school to go with my older sister to the hospital , she had a blood test, and they needed like four samples with her fasting, so I had to go with her in case she feels faint. So we stayed there for four hours, and luckily I brought my iPad with me, and luckily the hospital have super fast wi-fi. So I started looking up collages in japan although I discussed with mom about going there to study before, and she refused, but I looked it up anyway, I saw photos of Kyoto university's campus, and it was amazing, trees everywhere and great classrooms , great everything , and so I fell in love with it. After waiting for four hours In the hospital we finally got to go, and my sister had a class in collage so I was gonna drop her there and go home, but I ended up going with her, So it was still half an hour before her class starts, so we got to have breakfast, and pray. I was gonna wait for her in the cafeteria , it was fun seeing collage girls, they're all dressed up and make-up and hair, it was like watching a fashion show so there was no way I'd be bored, but I ended up attending the class, she had a lab that day<< biomedical student, so I got to wear a white lab coat , and I saw her friend which I already met before. They had made a culture for bacteria, and they had to classify them. So I was just observing, because I didn't want to interfere with their work, when the lab assistant told me to work, I clarified that I'm not a student, but she already knew that, and so she allowed me to play with bacteria . It was fun trying collage life for a day , it was ....different.
I got him later that day , and I told practically everyone that day. Then I showed mom the pictures of Kyoto university , although she was against it , she was mesmerized by the pictures , and she semi- half agreed, but that was good enough for me. At night something made me changed my , and suddenly, I didn't see myself in japan, in Kyoto university, I realized that I wanted to go to Japan just for the sake of it, just because I wanted to learn japanese , to live manga, to experience life on the other side of the world, where everything is different, I realized that I was being unfair to my education, to my future. Although Kyoto university is a good , but there are other higher universities , I want to graduate from a top university, as I was thinking about my future.
I wrote this about two months ago but I never posted it. Now I'll write about how life changed from that day, and the highlights of that period of time.
First of all, in Eid my parrot , who was always with me died, it feels weird to say that my best friend was an animal , but it was... I got so sad , I actually cried, but I tried to hide, because it was Eid.... So for about 2 weeks I was grieving. After Eid we had our first tests, it was really tiring , I mean studying in Eid holiday and after that... That was a lot of studying for one month, but I'm thankful that I studied because i got good mark... Except in physics, i lost 8 marks although I think I did well. Anyway two days before my test ends , my sister gave birth to a girl -Reem- named her after me, although I know she just likes the name but I was happy+ she's an angel.
So back to academic life, I went to a collage fair - Qatar international collage fair- held in four seasons hotel,I had to skip school because they held a lecture in Studying in th U.K, it was helpful , I learned new things. There were collages from U.S.A , Australia, Japan and the U.K. So I went to check U.K univerties when I came across with UCL - university collage London - I really liked it and felt really comfortable with it and it was ranked no.4 in the best universities in the world + it's in sheik Tmem's scholarship collage list, so it was very nice.then I went to the japan section, it was really disappointing knowing that I couldn't go. Anyway When I finished I was extremely tired so I sat in the four season hotel sipping coffe, now that was really something.
I got home, told mom all about and she liked UCl and encouraged my enthusiasm . I filed the application , received a reference letter from my physics teacher, got a 6.5 in my iLETS test and talked to the school consular about it, now she calls me London, so what's left is my school transcript so I could mail the application. It's scary not knowing what's gonna happen, but I can't really imagine the worst case scenario.
Enough with the academic talk, I have another problem... I've gained weight, and I just had it with being overweight , it's really tiring, I came to hate shopping, and I don't know what to do anymore... I do but I need the chance to.
Anyway something embaressing but funny happen to me the other day, was making salad in the kitchen with my sister M, suddenly she started to freak out about something and immediately hide under the table so I unconsciously look at the kitchen door, and I'm chopping lettuce in a table in front of the door, and there's this Lebanese guy - sunglasses + cab- telling me to " yallah" I stood their frozen - no shealah or abbaya- , staring blankly at the guy, not a single thought in mind... A moment of silence, then our maid jumps in to save the day, and he realizes the situation, says sorry and storms out. As i was getting back my consciousness I ran to the kitchen store, a little late but... Anyway when I began to process what happens, it came down to this: I'm making salad in the kitchen in my school uniform, hair all messy looking like a housewife with a -.- expression on my face where a guy sees me in my most terrible moments and above all, without my shealah , that's like being naked to me, I started laughing real hard it was a really funny situation, but the I got so embaressed that I almost cried. It was a stupid situation that I never saw coming, and the guy turned out to be the maintenance guy coming to check something in our house and obviously thought I was the maid!!
That's about all that had happened the past month, and I don't think I will be able to write in the meantime , busy with school and everything, so it might take another two months to fill in the last updates in my life.